The Great Adventures of the Mundane

I had just retired…well not retired in the sense I had reach the age of maturity and financial stability never to have to go back to work again, but retired in the sense that I just got off for the day and come home and was in my underwear, and was in no way doing anything that would in at all resemble work...at least until tomorrow. It was my normal posture on a Tuesday evening, well, I guess on a Wednesday as well, Thursday, also, lets just say this is how I spent my evenings.
Dinnertime had passed and I had already moved on to my desert. I had managed to gather up enough energy to put some brownies in a microwave and then heap a pile of ice cream over the top. However, this of course had only come after begging my wife to do it for me, but to no avail. I had brought my evening’s prize over to my favorite armchair, well my only armchair, but it was my favorite. While still piling the loads of sugary delight into my cavernous abyss of a mouth I plumped into my throne. Stopping my mastication only for a second I set my bowl on top of my lap and reached for the handle to the recliner. With more effort than I wished to exert I threw the chair back into its maximum reclined position.
“Ahhhh….” I breathed a sigh in relief. “Sweet victory…” But alas…it was not so, I had made one fatal flaw…
The remote! I shouted it so loud in my head it felt I had started an avalanche-like torrent of negative emotion. Oh what foolishness that I could forget such a vital detail into this evening’s adventure. I saw it sitting there on the coffee table in front of the couch next to me. And there I was, stranded on my own personal desert island, in the maximum reclined position, with a full belly that might as well been an obese elephant at this point. I wouldn’t move now, I couldn’t! I had already reached the maximum reclination as it were (and it was). Pulling the lever back in order to recline was one thing, but well…haha…pushing it up to get out that was a whole different story! The lever would always stick around midnight on the clock and the last decent down in the clockwise direction always caused just enough exertion of energy to be annoying, and under these conditions…unacceptable.
“Stupid…foolish…what a terrific folly,” I thought to myself. One can not imagine the discomfort in which I know lay. My entire night foiled by such a horrible error. Panic stricken I looked around frantically for a solution. My head bobbing and weaving, eyes darting, racing, hoping, yearning for a way out of this mess; and there she was…
My beautiful wife! She lay there in a sort of golden glow about her, her head halfway strewn on a pillow, mouth slightly open, eyes almost closed, wheezing as she breathed in and out, half-asleep, half-awake? Who knows? All I knew it was up to her now…she would have to reach for it.
By all means I was justified in my thoughts; it was indeed closer to her on the couch than it was to me. She could reach for it, lying on her stomach, her left arm pinned up against the couch, her right trapped underneath her body. It may have had to take her rolling over, which of course might be too much to ask, but she may have just been able to reach for it with the right arm if pulled out from underneath her.
I stared at her, as if willing my sense of necessity into her very spirit. The glow of the TV reflecting off her face, shadows dancing as the screen went from light to dark, I saw a slight twinkle in her eyes. She had felt my gaze…
Slowly lifting her head in my direction we caught eyes. A slight cough and a sigh erupted from her lips, she knew what I wanted.
“Are you kidding?” Is all she said. My blank stare indeed let her know it was not a jest.
“You are the laziest kid ever.” We had been married two months and she already knew me like her favorite novel!
But in those moments I saw a bit of contemplation, I could read it in her eyes! I knew her as well, two months earlier she would have pounced on the remote to give it to me, so maybe I could still work some of that charm.
“I love you.” Swish! It had to work.
Movement! She grunted and lifted her arm out from under her, stretching, reaching for the technological messiah of our current predicament. Her fingers stretched and curled as she reached towards the end of the remote. Using the very tips of her nails she inched it forward into her grasp. What a woman!
Without moving the base of her body she threw out her arm holding the remote at some strange spider-like cockeyed angle towards me. “All right…” I thought, a little movement on my part was necessary, but I sat up just enough to reach for the remote. Oh man I could taste it! I imagined the sensation it would have in my hand, the long slender plastic sense of security it would bring. Victory was ever so near. I reached, I reached out…and as I was about to grab it…she dropped it.
A conniving smile spread across her lips, and the faintest laughter was heard. She giggled, reveling in my misfortune. It was if an icy dagger had been plunged into my heart. I swear in that four seconds of misery there was pain unrivaled. I had been betrayed, betrayed by the foulest of vixens.
So I grabbed the DVD remote instead that was ever so cleverly wedged in my seat cushion and hit play, little did she know but Ong Bak the Thai Warrior had been stashed in the DVD player for just such an occasion. As the screams of Thai martial artists and the subtitles appeared on the screen I knew whose day it was. It was my turn to smile. Oh if I could only capture and sell the look she gave me, talk about WMDs, it would have killed any mere mortal man. But not this one…not this night, I had won this little adventure…

Something not as heavy...ok a review of my trips to Machu Picchu in Peru!

Visiting Machu Picchu in Peru

If you ever get the chance to go…GO! They don’t call it one of the Seven Wonders of the World for nothing. I personally have had the once in a life time opportunity, twice! With each occasion I was completely blown away.
Peru isn’t the first thought on every traveler’s mind when they are thinking of their next destination, but to any veteran with the goal to see it all this is a must. If you are an amateur seeking adventure Peru has what you need as well, with a lively and incredibly friendly culture, rich history, interesting and tasty cuisine (they’re into the guinea pig thing—not a personal fan), and as far as landscape goes they got it all—jungles and mountains, snow-capped mountains and the high altitudes, beaches, and deserts.
Yet of course the main attraction is the ancient Mayan treasure of Machu Picchu. Snuggled deep in the jungle there is only a few ways to reach this ancient city: for the hardcore there is the jungle trek, or for those wishing to see the landscape in a more comfortable fashion you can take the train, then the long bus ride up. My companions and I chose the scenic route and got to enjoy an amazing trip through the jungle while relaxing with our friends on a comfortable train ride. When you reach the bottom and begin the bus trip up it is difficult to not use up all of your pictures taking snapshots of the amazing jungle scenery around you, but save some for the top. Once you make it past the markets and souvenirs (they’re cool too, don’t get me wrong) you’ll finally reach the gates to enter into the lost city of Machu Picchu. From there you will be teamed up with a guide, who is sure to give you the un-biased lowdown on the history of this great city. After the tour is done, it is up to you. We spent hours taking pictures, lying around and soaking it all in, taking snapshots appearing to jump off cliffs (see below), or climbing Waynu Picchu for the ultimate view of the jungle.
So like I said before if you ever get the chance to go to Peru and Machu Picchu, don’t pass it up. It’s something you’ll remember forever. Stay in Cusco a while, the closest major city to Machu Picchu, sleep and relax in one of their novel little hotels. Eat some Peruvian food, try guinea pig if you’re brave enough, buy some knick-knacks, it is well worth it.

If God isn’t real…

If God isn’t real then it really doesn’t matter, and when I say “it” I mean everything, and nothing. Nothing really matters, everything is meaningless. If God isn’t real, then there is no point to you or me. No one really cares, no one is able to. If God isn’t real then there is no purpose. You can invent your own sure, but that’s just what it is, an invention. It’s something you tell yourself to get through the day, it’s something you tell yourself to sleep at night, it’s something you tell yourself to make believe that you’re ok. Because if God isn’t real, you’re not ok.

If God isn’t real there is no law. Everything is ok. It’s ok in the sense that it doesn’t matter. Because if God isn’t real we’re just playing show. We’re pretending that we’re different, pretending that we’re special, pretending like we’re not just another dumb animal. If God isn’t real that’s exactly what we are. We’re nothing but self-serving, parasites who have invented the most elaborate game to make sure that we make more of ourselves. And most worst of all we’re a fluke, an accident. If God isn’t real that is where it ends. You wake up, you sleep, maybe you procreate, you die, you go in the ground, you sleep and don’t wake up again. If God isn’t real, then living to be remembered is laughable. History doesn’t care, with enough time (and there is more than enough) everyone will be forgotten.

If God isn’t real then take what’s yours. The only thing that is stopping you is the threat of pain. If God isn’t real then our law is a matter of convenience, an agreed upon set of rules invented once again by pretenders. Break it when you see fit, when it serves you best, because the only rule is to make sure you keep on living. If God isn’t real crime is relative, it’s simply whether or not you believe it to be one, or if a larger group of people than you do, or someone bigger, someone stronger. If God isn’t real then lying is relative. Lie to your wife, your husband, your friends, and your family as long as it serves you best. If God isn’t real, others are there just to make sure you’re better off. Your friends are for amusement, for chuckles, for false purpose, for a distraction from harsh reality. Your family is but an advanced animal pack, simply adapted to make sure you live. Take from them what you need, keep your seed going.

If God isn’t real then steal. There’s nothing wrong with it, unless it ends up hurting you, if it doesn’t, do it. If God isn’t real then murder is relative, rape but an expression of instinct. These things are only enforced by a larger animal pack. If God isn’t real, then a cannibalistic rapist is but a matter of perspective. If God isn’t real then relationships are but stories in a storybook. There is no moral, there is no happy ending, take what’s yours now, live for what you want, everyone and everything is but a pleasure or pain stimulus.

If God isn’t real then you don’t matter. Neither do the people around you. You should be on edge, because if they find that out too…

If God isn’t real you have every reason to be afraid. If there is no higher being, if there is no higher purpose, or if that purpose be malicious, or false, or tricksy, lying, hateful, indignant, indifferent, or worst of all make believe…then what reason for hope? What reason do you have to hope? It is a game, pretend, you are playing Candyland but with the very conscious and sanity of the human mind. If you are not afraid you are pushing the truth out of your head, if you do not lust after anything that brings you pleasure then you’re wasting your time, if you are not depressed then you’re just plain ignorant, and ignorance bliss, and bliss simply naiveté.
The problem with believing that God isn’t real does not come from the big questions. The questions like…why do bad things happen to good people? Why were we created? Why is there evil in the world? What about Jesus? What about Muhammad? What about Buddha? Why do natural disasters happen? Why is their war? Why is their suffering? For these questions do have answers. No…those who do not wish to believe in God simply cannot answer one question…why do I suffer? Why do I feel so much pain? Why did You let this happen to me? Why did my friend have to die? Why did my grandmother die? My father? Why did my wife leave me? Why did my husband cheat on me? Why did I lose my job? Why can’t I find another one? Why did my wife lie to me? Why am I gaining weight? Why am I addicted? Why am I poor? These are the questions that can go unanswered, maybe forever, these are the questions that don’t always have a specific solution, and these are the questions that make us so angry at a God that we pretend we don’t think He is real. It is the natural course of a developed mind to look for a higher purpose, a bigger picture, an ultimate meaning. Those who have reasoned themselves not to believe in it, do so out of an ever so apparent anger, and rightly so. To believe in God takes faith, it takes looking past an ever so personal pain. It does not have to defy reason, it does not have to forego intellect, but it must be, at its most ultimate point, its apex, its crux…faith. Sight is not belief, knowing is not trust, rape for one’s own good is still rape…and God is a gentleman…



This is where I would normally end the blog…I mean it was the most dramatic point right? But I wanted to let people know I wrote this at a very real point in my life. A point where I so desperately wanted to not believe in God anymore, but I just… couldn’t. I also wanted to say if anyone is still reading this, please comment. If you just came across it somehow, please comment. Even if it is “you’re a moron.” I’d like a little more explanation to why, but still. Also very importantly as well I am going to stop beating around the bush. I want to write. I have pages and pages and pages of thoughts, and lots way more developed then what is above. I also believe I have a lot that are new, that are genuine, and that are real and most importantly that I truly believe to meaningful and full of purpose. I want to write a book, books. I want people to read, because when I talk face to face with individuals about these thoughts I get nothing but amazing feedback that it really touched how they think and live in reality. If you can help make this happen say so, if you have advice say so, if you want to sponsor me say so, if you are a publisher, an editor, anyone with a cause or means…say so. It’s getting to the point that something has got to happen, I don’t want fame or fortune, I just would like to be able to make a living and for my wife and I not to have to leave our apartment and live with our parents, or for me to have to give up on a dream and start filling out the fast food applications. I’m going to keep on going as well; I don’t know how to stop anyways.