Reality

Written by Kevin Schultze, John Raymond, and Lee Tucciarone

This is a rough draft of some things we have been working on. We would love any comments, feedback, questions, criticisms positive or negative, anything. I realize it is long, but we hope that it is meaningful.

Reality:

I would be skeptical that there is a man or woman alive today that thinks the world is as it should be. I would be cautious of anyone who denies suffering, who is ignorant of pain, who is unconscious to evil and ill-will. Fear, lust, depression…no one doubts that these things plague the world in which we live, but what if I told you that, in reality… they do not even exist? That those things are inventions, mere fabrications of a false need that creates the desires which bring about so much pain. Without need, there would be no pain.

Our economy, our society, our world exists and hinges on the over-arching concept of supply and demand. When there is a demand for a product, someone becomes a producer and creates the supply. Any marketer or salesman who is worth his salt will tell you that the best way to create that demand, is to create a sense of need. If you create a need for a product, you have created a sale. Food, water, shelter, these things will always sell, but will personal jets? If you can convince someone that they need bigger and better, they will fill their house with all sorts of things. If you can convince someone that their well-being is based on where they shop and what clothes they wear, then malls will never be empty. If happiness is based on diet, then your restaurant will never close. If you can internalize the need for an external product, then you will never be without profit, but you will never be without need.

However if you think about it, how many things that you own do you actually need? Most of us in the west actually have houses for our cars (John Stallsmith). If there is a fire in your house, what would you have to save? What could you not live without? This sense of need extends beyond even the material world. Individuals will result to all sorts of things to derive their satisfaction from, and therefore their need. Have you ever been running late? Is there not this overwhelming necessity driving us to be on time to an important event? What is the reaction of your boss, your spouse on an anniversary, or your mother at Thanksgiving dinner when you are late? Is not their satisfaction derived from a feeling of necessity for everyone to be on time, and everything to work out?

But what has been lost in reality? I do not deny consequences, but what…what exactly are we really living for? People live their lives, deriving their satisfaction from a set of insubstantial necessities. If these necessities are not met, we are not happy. Yet how can we justify living as such? How can we place our satisfaction, and our need in things that are fallible, things that are destructible, things that break, fall apart, wither, rot, die, betray, in essence…things that are not eternal? We can use the metaphor of taking “pills.” Much like an alcoholic or an addict who may take literal pills, we create our own metaphorical pills to bring us the high we are looking for. We survive working for the weekends; we survive for that night out on the town, hitting the clubs, getting drunk tonight, getting that new car or house, or capturing that sexual escapade. If I could just watch TV for a few hours, if I could just get that promotion, if she could change, if he would just change, after this steak dinner I’ll feel so much better, if they would just sleep with me…then I would be ok. Money cannot buy happiness…a cliché from years past, but by this logic I can tell you this: NO ONE IS HAPPY. There is no pill, or even amount of pills that can bring you what you are looking for. A pill’s effects only last so long.

However, it is foolish to think that these pills only extend into the realm of negative vices. These pills, these objects of our desired satisfaction, can also be of a seemingly positive nature. Yet of what level of who you are, what satisfies you, what you live for is based and invested in the fallible? Who among us has ever put their feeling of need into another person and not been disappointed before? Even healthy, dedicated, loving relationships can be used as conducts of an imagined need. If your whole life is based on your relationship with another person, you will be let down, you will be hurt, and you will experience fear and anxiety. Your relationship with your family can not be the essence of your life, because there will always be schisms, there will always be divides and problems. Your husband, your wife, your children can not make you happy, your job, your life experiences in Europe, your number of charitable contributions will not bring you satisfaction. These things are contributions to the system and false point of seeing happiness as a goal to be obtained. The system of getting more good than bad, the scale system of more positive than negative, the system of happiness as the goal in life does not work. The system is broken, has been broken, will always be broken, and the system is not even real.

As in medicine, these pills we live for whether positive or negative are but of temporary benefit (if a benefit at all). We take one and it lasts a while, but then we must search for more. Eventually we need higher doses or a whole new pill all together. Observe the conversation around you, note the goals of your neighbors, your family, and your own self; are we not in a constant search for simply just…more. Who has found satisfaction in things, who has it or that, that has delivered them from desire? Or are not the things that tend to bring a seemingly greater, longer, truer sense of satisfaction, things that cannot be materialized at all? Things like, peace, things like love, and things like joy. For these things stand in contrast to the false reality of fear, lust, and depression.

Joy transcends happiness, for joy can exist in the midst of sorrow. Joy is a deeper, realer emotion that lives independently from need. Joy is not dependent upon circumstance, or situation, person or place. However I want to be careful here, I want to get beyond the “money does not buy happiness” message, for in reality there is nothing that buys happiness. My point here is not to make you happy, this is not a feel good read, this is not a prosperity gospel. This is reality, and reality is the loss of control. So in reality happiness is an illusion.

The problem is that when we think we are losing control, we think we are losing our life. Some of the most poignant quotes from scripture come from Christ in which I think he addresses this very subject. Christ, the man that Christians desire to live their life not only for, but like. The man in whom believers aspire to be, a man of incredible joy, but also a man of sorrows. For as I said before, and hopefully we all one day can realize, joy can exist in the midst of sorrows. Christ says in the book of Matthew, “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it (10:39 NIV).” He says in the book of John, “If anyone does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple (14:26, NIV).”

It is a strange claim, to say that one must hate his father and mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, and even their own life? However much of the meaning can be lost in the Greek to English translation. The word used in John 14:26 in the Greek is ‘miseo’, which means to hate, or detest, but therefore by extension to “love less.” The point being communicated here that when compared to the life of following Christ, the life without it, even the life with your family is to be as detested. It is a powerful metaphor, and word choice even in the Greek, comparing one life of an eternal meaning, and a life of false meaning. Even the love of family, if that all it is and in of itself, is but a temporary satisfaction. If you are finding your life purpose, if who you are is defined by, and if your satisfaction comes from your relationship with your family, then even you are on a pill. These things fade, these things die, and the needs we invent in and out of them are not even real.

Reality strips you of control, because reality is whether you want it to be or not. It's not your relentless thought upon reality which makes it come true. Reality is ignorant towards you.Reality simply is without your thought, belief, or approval. So don't fall to the illusion that your wishful thoughts concerning reality is what creates and sustains it. You don't always have to be worrying and thinking upon reality for it to maintain. Reality has to be larger than perception and interpretation. Perception, then must be relative, and not reality, although this does not rule out the fact that perception may have a determinant (future tense only) on reality. To say that there are multiple realities is false, reality is reality, by definition; but…who is to say what you think and even what you will or wish can not affect reality (again, in the future tense). This is not such a surreal thought or belief, in fact I would argue that most religions subscribe to some sort of thinking along these lines. Also, agnostics, atheists, and those who wish nothing of one religion will oftentimes defend the rights of those who do to believe in their own “reality.” Who is to say, “Your reality is wrong, and mine is right?” Even some areas of scientific thought (quantum physics and the like) are leaning towards these thoughts. Let us not forget also the concept of prayer. However it seems that only what truly is, can say what it is and what it is not. Only reality can claim right or wrong.

So your wishful thinking, your prayers, your hopes, your dreams can influence. However influencing and controlling stand at contrast, there is no ill in hoping, dreaming, praying but it is the desired goal ahead and the motivation behind that determine its outcome. Reality exists, time flows on a line and our influences extend only ahead and in front; hence the great schism of being and doing. Doing has the connotation of willing your existence into being, which is usually done by the chopping up of pills. Being is accepting your freedom, that fact that you are, the fact that there is. Being is more about the process of experience, rather than the process of conscious construction. You may find that oftentimes your hopes, dreams, your prayers do not end up coming to be, perhaps because what you think you need, you simply don’t. Being is the process of acceptance, acceptance of not only freedom, but reality itself. What if what we really needed we already had? What if what would bring us joy as opposed to happiness (or when lacking, depression), peace as opposed to fear, and love as opposed to lust is the acceptance of reality? If He feeds the birds of the air, and clothes the grass of the fields, then truly what do we have to fear? Fear itself was invented with the start of “I.”

If in the beginning all things were one, existence lived with the absence of “I.” With the creation of I, came the creation of fear. The first I comes is mentioned in the book of Isaiah, when the fallen one says “I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.” The beginning of fear, lust, depression, the beginning of falsity starts and continues with the creation of I. FEAR does not exist because “I” do not exist. There is no such thing as “ I am in a state of fear” because there is no “I” to be in that state. The illusion of fear was created when the original illusion/sin of “I” was created. This creation of “I” is what birthed all opposites from fear to peace, to joy and depression. Before the “I” was created there was just a state of complete ‘freedom’. Once you dissolve the illusion of “I”, fear should follow. As fear arises in our mind, it is fed when we identify with it and make it “self”; when we say, “I am fearful” or “I am in a state of fear”. So when fear comes, make that the object of your awareness. Simply note it: “ Oh, its fear again”. It is in the moment of recognition, acceptance, and nonidentification that you can see how weak this mindstate really is. Fear arises, you note it, and in that moment of noting, when you no longer identify with it, it falls away (Goldstein). Fear is just a passing cloud; it is not part of you. It can’t be part of you because there is no you for it to attach onto. I am not fearful because there is no “I”. This whole illusion/mindstate of fear comes from the original illusion of “I”. Fear was created when the illusion of “I” was created. They both don’t exist. “JUST AM”. You don’t realize your innate freedom by saying, “I Am Free”, because in doing this you simply reassert the illusion of the non-existent or false “I”. You try to attach freedom to this “I” while at the same time try and detach fear from this same “I”. Your simply stuck in the game, stuck in the matrix. By proclaiming, “I Am Free” you’re attempting to attach freedom onto this false “I”, which is impossible because it does not exist. Rather you should just forget about the whole thing altogether, and just be. Forget about freedom, forget about fear, forget about the false “I”, and forget about the true “I”. Forget about it all; just be.


We should not eliminate the existence of I from choice, a flaw of much of eastern thought is the complete elimination of yourself. There is an I in the sense of choice. We chose, we act, we think, we have been created with free will. However the choice of eliminating the I and the fear and false necessities attached comes from the choice to accept love, the choice that comes from accepting being, from accepting reality itself. Once we accept that there is an is and will be, then we begin to lose the false sense of control, we begin to realize that maybe we don’t need so much. If we realize that we are loved, we are cared for, that we are taken care of in an eternal sense we begin to eliminate the illusion of fear. If we accept being, versus the pressure of doing we find ourselves in a state where there is no need for disappointment and depression. If we realize that the purpose of life is simply to be, to love and be loved, to know and make known God then in what context must we be without joy?

This is not a goal. It simply can’t be a goal, because it is a process of just is. It is but sitting in the presence of God, accepting the reality ahead and being. We can fall in and out of it, we can believe it one minute, live in it at one moment, and forget the next. We can return to illusion or we can accept Truth. When we lose our life, we find it. There will be hardships, there will be persecutions, there will be pain, however there will always be the choice of accepting joy. When we lose our life, we find it. There will be disappointment, there will be desire, there will be hurt, but there will always be the choice of accepting peace. When we lose our life, we find it. There will be distractions, there will be setbacks, there will be truths forgotten or misplaced, and there will be hate, but there will always be the choice of accepting love. When we lose our life, we find it.

Religion by definition is obsolete (really?). People may care about your opinions (and they should be discussed), but the important matter is Truth. Seek Truth truly, and it will find you. Most of the time when people want to talk religion, or when I am asked if I am a Christian; I will generally say yes. But I find it hard at times to even say that because people have done some horrible things under that name, and it continues horrendously in this present, and really there is no one who can ever live up to the name. I do believe in Christ however, not because people have not done horrible things “in the name of Christ,” because they have and they do, but because Christ Himself was not only perfection incarnate, and the very indwelling of love itself, but also because this God-man has saved everyone who is willing to admit that they do, in fact, need some saving.

However, if you are not at that point where you believe this, and many are not, then please read on. Yet here we are, all in agreement about pretty much one thing, that things are not what they should be. It has been a concern for a long time, and many a writer has expressed these concerns in many a way. In reality though we still stand in this, the question still arises, why are we here and what are we doing?

This is where I find fault with religion, because something has to be true, and under examination religion stands at disagreement with its brothers. Truth then, must be something bigger than religion. Reality has to be larger than perception and interpretation. Perception, then must be relative, and not reality, although this does not rule out the fact that perception may have a determinant on reality. To say that there are multiple realities is false, reality is reality, again by definition; but…who is to say what you think and even what you will or wish can not affect reality. This is not such a surreal thought or belief, in fact I would argue that most religions subscribe to some sort of thinking along these lines. Also, agnostics, atheists, and those who wish nothing of one religion will oftentimes defend the rights of those who do to believe in their own “reality.” Who is to say, “Your reality is wrong, and mine is right?” Even some areas of scientific thought (quantum physics and the like) is leaning towards these thoughts. It seems that only what truly is, can say what it is and what it is not. Only reality can claim right or wrong.

So the pursuit of truth, the pursuit of reality, is something bigger than religion.

To believe in God, is to seek what Truth is. To believe in God and Truth, is to believe in something that is bigger than religion. So therefore, even Christianity stands second to something bigger if it stands as a religion. If Christianity really “is,” then it is not a religion at all and should not act as such. Religions attempt to convert, attempt to bring in followers, subscribers, but truth, well truth is. Truth has to do nothing more than be, and truth-tellers nothing more than figure out the best way to show and tell what is, along with when and how.

Sometimes I try to think outside of what I know now. I look back to when I didn’t know, and have not seen. It is not too difficult, a lot due to the fact that there is still so much that I do not know. But, thinking back to before I started a life of seeking truth in any and every way, I can not imagine how I lived without the desire to do so. Because with all our technology and advancements no one has been able to stop death, and with all our understanding and knowledge no one has been able to end uncertainty or fear; so to not attempt to find what is, to not attempt to find a purpose bigger than ourselves and our own lives, and to not attempt to find “meaning” to as why we have thought, interaction, feelings, emotions, and desires yet alone breath, then we do a great injustice not only to the world and others, but to ourselves and the many sleepless and restless nights to come.

On Your Own

It is not a good place to be. It is absurd for me to think sometimes that I actually have to do anything. That by my own will and power things are done... I find myself now in a strange and difficult place.

My wife and I (of only a few months) recently moved from an apartment we had in the city, back towards where we grew up. As of now, we are both in graduate programs studying to eventually become counselors. It is a desire and a passion we both share, to have the potential to be a guide in a messed up world, to maybe be of some aid in an individual's attempt to make sense of the senseless.
My wife works part time and goes to school twice a week in the evenings. I take classes one or two days a week, and was working part time before the move. Needless to say, it eventually wore on us; the stress was intense. There was very little time to spend with each other (especially for newlyweds), and my job put me in some precarious situations. The apartments we lived in the city were not as safe as we had hoped, the price of utilities began to skyrocket, and the environment as a whole was aggressive. The inner workings of a large metropolitan city have huge potential for work to be done, but it was not the time for us. Maybe in the future, but...we quickly retreated.
Blessing and a curse, that seems to be the way many things operate in this world. Although we know that all things work for the good of those who believe, it is not always easy to see that when you are in the thick of it. So now, I find myself in a place where I am without work for a while, living on what my wife pulls in and the loans I have from school. It is a place of...dependency.
I think the problem is that our society as a whole views that as a negative word; that the fact that you are dependent on someone makes you a weak person. I suppose that could be the case in some circumstances, but really, it is who you are dependent upon. A wise, caring, generous, empathetic benefactor is just that, a benefit. Parents with their children's best interests in mind is development's greatest ally. A government, a military, a police force that works for you and not against you is not to be feared.
I would challenge you to find someone who is not dependent, someone who by their own will stands alone. Does not a king, in reality, depend upon his subjects? Spirituality aside, higher being aside, God or gods aside, which one of us operates without a sense of dependency on someone or something else? Whether you believe your breath comes from the will of God or random chance, you must still draw it. Yet despite these facts, the lack of dependency is something we all seem to desire. Why? Think about what it would mean for you...YOU...to really...really be in control, for everyone, and everything to depend on you.
It's been a few weeks since my wife and I moved. I have spent the majority of my time getting stuff done around the apartment, working on or going to school, or relaxing with my wife or on my own. However, I made a commitment right before the move, that this Tuesday morning would be the day that I started working and developing on my writing as if it were my job...
I woke up this morning with the fear that I had to do it. That I had to do just that. I worried, planned, grew anxious over what to write and when, what to start with and what to ignore. I tried to plan every move, chart the hours of my day. I quickly...before I even started, grew weary. I began then to think about my dependency, think about the fact that if this writing adventure doesn't work out I will go back to the menial part time jobs until I can get my degree, and write in the future perhaps. I thought about that if I did not do it...I would fail. The fact is, if I and only I, tried to...then I would fail.
What a lonely idea, to think that you are the end all and be all of your own life. That by your own strength, that by your own successes and failings you control your life. The pressure of the past few weeks for me has been unbearable. I have noticed that throughout my day-to-day life I have struggled to plan and chart every minute of my operation. It escapes me, that that, that this, that this is the way in which we want to live. What a difference it is between that, and sitting the presence of God.
The blessing...I have a huge opportunity here. There is time in my life that I will not have in a few years, there is time to think, to contemplate, to read and study, to write and maybe publish. There is a chance that I can now put my trust, my faith, and my life into dependency. I can turn over my well-being to hands that are much more capable than my own. That I can invest myself into a market that does not crash, that although it will ride up and down, it will never go beyond a point that I can not handle; and the end is always the same. The truly successful man is one who has learned when and where to be vulnerable, and whom to be dependent upon.

Reality is the loss of control, and surrender is the way to true freedom.

(See Romans 8:28, Psalm 33:13-17, Psalm 37:4, Romans 6:16-23)