Religion by definition is obsolete (really?). People may care about your opinions (and they should be discussed), but the important matter is Truth. Seek Truth truly, and it will find you. Most of the time when people want to talk religion, or when I am asked if I am a Christian; I will generally say yes. But I find it hard at times to even say that because people have done some horrible things under that name, and it continues horrendously in this present, and really there is no one who can ever live up to the name. I do believe in Christ however, not because people have not done horrible things “in the name of Christ,” because they have and they do, but because Christ Himself was not only perfection incarnate, and the very indwelling of love itself, but also because this God-man has saved everyone who is willing to admit that they do, in fact, need some saving.

However, if you are not at that point where you believe this, and many are not, then please read on. Yet here we are, all in agreement about pretty much one thing, that things are not what they should be. It has been a concern for a long time, and many a writer has expressed these concerns in many a way. In reality though we still stand in this, the question still arises, why are we here and what are we doing?

This is where I find fault with religion, because something has to be true, and under examination religion stands at disagreement with its brothers. Truth then, must be something bigger than religion. Reality has to be larger than perception and interpretation. Perception, then must be relative, and not reality, although this does not rule out the fact that perception may have a determinant on reality. To say that there are multiple realities is false, reality is reality, again by definition; but…who is to say what you think and even what you will or wish can not affect reality. This is not such a surreal thought or belief, in fact I would argue that most religions subscribe to some sort of thinking along these lines. Also, agnostics, atheists, and those who wish nothing of one religion will oftentimes defend the rights of those who do to believe in their own “reality.” Who is to say, “Your reality is wrong, and mine is right?” Even some areas of scientific thought (quantum physics and the like) is leaning towards these thoughts. It seems that only what truly is, can say what it is and what it is not. Only reality can claim right or wrong.

So the pursuit of truth, the pursuit of reality, is something bigger than religion.

To believe in God, is to seek what Truth is. To believe in God and Truth, is to believe in something that is bigger than religion. So therefore, even Christianity stands second to something bigger if it stands as a religion. If Christianity really “is,” then it is not a religion at all and should not act as such. Religions attempt to convert, attempt to bring in followers, subscribers, but truth, well truth is. Truth has to do nothing more than be, and truth-tellers nothing more than figure out the best way to show and tell what is, along with when and how.

Sometimes I try to think outside of what I know now. I look back to when I didn’t know, and have not seen. It is not too difficult, a lot due to the fact that there is still so much that I do not know. But, thinking back to before I started a life of seeking truth in any and every way, I can not imagine how I lived without the desire to do so. Because with all our technology and advancements no one has been able to stop death, and with all our understanding and knowledge no one has been able to end uncertainty or fear; so to not attempt to find what is, to not attempt to find a purpose bigger than ourselves and our own lives, and to not attempt to find “meaning” to as why we have thought, interaction, feelings, emotions, and desires yet alone breath, then we do a great injustice not only to the world and others, but to ourselves and the many sleepless and restless nights to come.

On Your Own

It is not a good place to be. It is absurd for me to think sometimes that I actually have to do anything. That by my own will and power things are done... I find myself now in a strange and difficult place.

My wife and I (of only a few months) recently moved from an apartment we had in the city, back towards where we grew up. As of now, we are both in graduate programs studying to eventually become counselors. It is a desire and a passion we both share, to have the potential to be a guide in a messed up world, to maybe be of some aid in an individual's attempt to make sense of the senseless.
My wife works part time and goes to school twice a week in the evenings. I take classes one or two days a week, and was working part time before the move. Needless to say, it eventually wore on us; the stress was intense. There was very little time to spend with each other (especially for newlyweds), and my job put me in some precarious situations. The apartments we lived in the city were not as safe as we had hoped, the price of utilities began to skyrocket, and the environment as a whole was aggressive. The inner workings of a large metropolitan city have huge potential for work to be done, but it was not the time for us. Maybe in the future, but...we quickly retreated.
Blessing and a curse, that seems to be the way many things operate in this world. Although we know that all things work for the good of those who believe, it is not always easy to see that when you are in the thick of it. So now, I find myself in a place where I am without work for a while, living on what my wife pulls in and the loans I have from school. It is a place of...dependency.
I think the problem is that our society as a whole views that as a negative word; that the fact that you are dependent on someone makes you a weak person. I suppose that could be the case in some circumstances, but really, it is who you are dependent upon. A wise, caring, generous, empathetic benefactor is just that, a benefit. Parents with their children's best interests in mind is development's greatest ally. A government, a military, a police force that works for you and not against you is not to be feared.
I would challenge you to find someone who is not dependent, someone who by their own will stands alone. Does not a king, in reality, depend upon his subjects? Spirituality aside, higher being aside, God or gods aside, which one of us operates without a sense of dependency on someone or something else? Whether you believe your breath comes from the will of God or random chance, you must still draw it. Yet despite these facts, the lack of dependency is something we all seem to desire. Why? Think about what it would mean for you...YOU...to really...really be in control, for everyone, and everything to depend on you.
It's been a few weeks since my wife and I moved. I have spent the majority of my time getting stuff done around the apartment, working on or going to school, or relaxing with my wife or on my own. However, I made a commitment right before the move, that this Tuesday morning would be the day that I started working and developing on my writing as if it were my job...
I woke up this morning with the fear that I had to do it. That I had to do just that. I worried, planned, grew anxious over what to write and when, what to start with and what to ignore. I tried to plan every move, chart the hours of my day. I quickly...before I even started, grew weary. I began then to think about my dependency, think about the fact that if this writing adventure doesn't work out I will go back to the menial part time jobs until I can get my degree, and write in the future perhaps. I thought about that if I did not do it...I would fail. The fact is, if I and only I, tried to...then I would fail.
What a lonely idea, to think that you are the end all and be all of your own life. That by your own strength, that by your own successes and failings you control your life. The pressure of the past few weeks for me has been unbearable. I have noticed that throughout my day-to-day life I have struggled to plan and chart every minute of my operation. It escapes me, that that, that this, that this is the way in which we want to live. What a difference it is between that, and sitting the presence of God.
The blessing...I have a huge opportunity here. There is time in my life that I will not have in a few years, there is time to think, to contemplate, to read and study, to write and maybe publish. There is a chance that I can now put my trust, my faith, and my life into dependency. I can turn over my well-being to hands that are much more capable than my own. That I can invest myself into a market that does not crash, that although it will ride up and down, it will never go beyond a point that I can not handle; and the end is always the same. The truly successful man is one who has learned when and where to be vulnerable, and whom to be dependent upon.

Reality is the loss of control, and surrender is the way to true freedom.

(See Romans 8:28, Psalm 33:13-17, Psalm 37:4, Romans 6:16-23)